because my blood points are too high. i wouldnt be asking if there was a way not to dear with the meds

Saying you're petrified says it all. Why go off a med that's helping avoid this? Many I know have had great results from for various reasons or just regular life. Please ask Dr bout why or if you should go off it. Coupled w/counselling will be great help understand why you need this.

thankyou dear, im trying to get the doctor to take me down bit by bit with the medication, a bit petrified with the outcome, but trying to get counselling before it all happens.

Be careful when you come off antidepressants, there can be some severe side effects, I got some seizure like symptoms when I would feel a shock in my body every time I would move my eyes fast. The antidepressant I took was duloxetine so maybe your antidepressant might have other withdrawal symptoms but be careful about it.