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Real members of MyEpilepsyTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

Independence

Independence

How does everyone else cope with codependency?
I try to be as independent as possible. My husband is great, but sometimes he tells me that if I didn't have him that I'd never make it.

A MyEpilepsyTeam Member said:

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. No one should have to hear that, even if it were true. We KNOW we are forced to rely on others. Shoving it in our faces is rather condescending and even abusive, especially if it's to evoke shame or guilt.
It's isn't easy for our spouses to worry constantly and fear that they may lose us because of our condition. That being said, we still deserve the same dignity and respect as any other able bodied person. Your spouse may need some therapy to help him process his fears and resentments.

posted 4 months ago
A MyEpilepsyTeam Member said:

You dont need your husband, you are a strong person and you can manage your seizures independently. There is alarms and other precautions that can be put in place so you are safe. Personally i would contact an O.T to assess you and see what you need to be independent with your seizures. My O.T suggested a seizure alert dog i said no but that's because i have cats and my mobility isn't upto walking a dog but one of my cats is brill she senses when im going to have a seizure and tries to push me to a seat or the floor she also protects me while im having the seizure so ive been told and hisses at anyone who tries to get near unless she knows them 😆.

posted 4 months ago
A MyEpilepsyTeam Member said:

Well iv had siezures for 26 years . And iv been by myself when iv had some and around family . But iv always felt like i can handle them on my own. It just depends on what type you have really if ya need somone always with you . Or around you . Cause i have parcel siezures and i can tel if iv had one when i come out of it . Then i just go back doing what i was doing before . Dont let someone tell you if it was not for me you wouldnt make it. You made it this far cause the lord are god brought you this far . And that is why iv made it as well. As long as you put your trust and hope and faith in him you can make it so much farther amen. Cause i know . You may feel like your doing this alone but believe me you are not Alone .he is right there with you amen.

posted 4 months ago
A MyEpilepsyTeam Member said:

Whenever your husband says such a thing, tell him about the years you survived before ever having even known him, aka you survived longer without him than with him. No matter what someone does for you in life, it isn't that they will or can ever do everything for you. Also, in my opinion, you are stronger than he is simply by the fact you get thru being told negative comments like that by him.

Never let someone else's feeling of inadequacy being mirrored onto you change your courage and strength.

You'll always have support here.

posted 4 months ago
A MyEpilepsyTeam Member said:

There's a familiar phrase !
For your own sake
I challenge you to prove him wrong!
When my father said it to me he was right!
My family and friends cannot always be there for me to depend on because people die, have their own lives, and move away.
This terrifying reality is why
I decided that I need to be able to go it alone now.
I encourage you to face your fears, experience a new found freedom, and give him piece of mind by proving him wrong.

posted 4 months ago
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