My dad hates me and has always treated me differently part of it is due to the medical conditions I have he thinks I’m on hardcore drugs (like heroin, meth, pills, etc.) when I’m not and have been clean for about a year he thinks my seizure spasms are due to me being on “drugs” when I have a seizure it’s because I’m on “drugs” I live at my boyfriends basically because anytime I’m at my house I get in trouble for talking about anything he doesn’t like one day I was trying to kill myself and he… read more
@A MyEpilepsyTeam Member Every exam (or anything else where memory and time limits are a factor) are source of higher stress for me. I had a D in Differential Equations in college (the first time around when I was in Electrical Engineering Technology) and then aced the final exam because I had 2 or 3 hours (don't remember which) and it was open book and open note, thus time and memory were not issues--thus stress were not a factor. There was a great book for Differential Equations, thus even with a bad professor teaching, I was able to teach my class Differential Equations and help up my friends. However, they did not have the exam fear (memory and time factors) that I did, thus I knew Differential Equations better than them, but they were able to show it.
This is why I was able to get an A+ on my thesis paper when working to complete my BA History. If I did not know that there was more than you could do than teach (and thus would not have to be up in front of a classroom of students), then I could have easily gone the first time around and gotten my bachelor's degree -- since writing essays and term papers, etc. were much more of a factor in grading and thus would have helped to counter the grades that I would lose on an in class exam that brought the (time fear and memory recall into the equation).
NOTE: Even before it was identified as being Epilepsy and starting on anticonvulsants to hamper memory recall more in 1997, I was being hit hard once I started high school in 1980 with Epilepsy. I had the stress from time and simply exam fear (anxiety and depression have been with me all of my life because I am a shy, introvert and a left-handed person--with no parent or older sibling to understand the difference in not only the obstacles of a righthanded society to those who are lefthanded but also that we have deviant thinking perspective from people who are righthanded. I watched my mother teach my 2 older siblings to tie my shoes and reverse the way that she was doing it to figure out to tie my own shoes. I saw how a righthanded batter holds the bat in baseball and taught myself to bat as a lefthander in baseball (and even taught myself later on to be a switch hitter. I dealt with the pain of using righthander scissors to cut. And I would get a C+ in penmanship through elementary school (when it was a grade category) because I was having to deal with being taught what seemed to be in a backways manner to write script.. And I always had the stain on my hand (pencil in elementary school and pen later on) because my hand is rubbing right across the text that is being written. I had to run the risk of using my offhand in shop class because the saw guard for bench saws and the like are meant to protect the righthanded majority population, etc.
@A MyEpilepsyTeam Member - Thankfully, no seizures when I worked there. I was young. Probably just a year after college. Seizures didn't start until 2019. Sounds like that practice midterm was extremely stressful.
Isn't it weird that we spend most of our time trying not to have a seizure, but then when we are hooked up, we really want one. My doctor is always hoping she sees nothing, and I are hoping she sees something.
Good to hear that you had the support from other adults. Interesting in the whole collection of potential motivators to nudge you to that profession. However, it is the persona of wanting to help lives better that make a lot of people go into those professions. My older sister is an elementary school teacher/math advisor for 4th graders.
Hopefully, you didn't have any experiences with seizures while working in the plastic molding factory. If I was not in between doctors (no medical insurance) in early 1997 (they paid is higher with no benefits in that new department to produce those handles after buying the machines from another company for Arizona that had no luck with production -- the department closed early in the fall because they did not have any better luck in reducing the number of reject products in that department) when that co-worker told me that I had a complex partial seizure (first time I had ever heard of a partial seizure), then I would have told my primary care doctor about it. And maybe I would have seen a neurologist a little sooner. However, the seizure while taking a practice midterm
and thus had physical evidence to show to get some answers. And when I was sent home with the portable EEG, I made sure to watch the videos of my toasts as a best man (twice) to raise my stress level and increase the odds of having a seizure, and it worked -- though they must have happened while I was asleep because I had no aura prior to them, and back then I was getting auras from at least part of my complex partial seizures.
What are the odds that I have one during a practice midterm -- considering that I had never had a practice exam in any class in K-12 or college before or after that one.
@A MyEpilepsyTeam Member - Thank you so much for your kind words. One thing that saved me was having other adults in my life (friends of our family), who understood and modeled for me what relationships are supposed to be like.
I do think I just naturally gravitated to social work. My grandmother was an OT, my mom directed a community health center, my step-dad was a social worker, my aunt was a teacher, my husband is a social worker. I definitely focused on working with teens at the beginning of my career. It also may have been the reason that I eventually started focusing on domestic violence and sexual assault. The boys I dated probably help with that some too.
BTW - I worked at a plastic molding factory at one point. They made the Reebok Step and something for Bose.
Yes, they continue to work on many treaments, with some treatments persons have found themselves cured. But even if not for some in this journey ahead for most of us it has been and will be long journey. You should never allow your freedoms to be stripped from you. Your not that diffrent from many of us who have taken on this seizure journey everyday, but it's never been a reason to pack up your bags and throw life freedoms given, away. Gods love and blessings be upon you!🙏
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