I was just invited to my guys family's thanksgiving dinner. I know it's a while away but I'm looking for advice. Our relationship is going in the serious direction. I wondered when it would be appropriate to mention my epilepsy to anyone in his family. Or should I even tell them at all? Should I wait until it's more serious? Like engagement serious? My guy hasn't told them anything about it. Thank you for any advice you may have.
Congrats on the relationship getting more serious. As long as your guy knows, It not necessary to say anything to the rest of the family. Of course, if you and your guy want to, it’s okay too but you and your guy set the timelines for conversations about you two not family or friends.
First of all, congratulations on your growing relationship. Also, it is very kind of you to invest in his family, that being said, your investment doesn’t have to involve personal information. The most important thing is that your guy knows and if, when or whom you feel comfortable disclosing your health with is your choice. No rush or pressure. No need. It’s not something to be ashamed of or intentionally hide, but like any other health condition it’s not always necessary to disclose. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully they love and accept you regardless ❤️
The key is that your boyfriend knows that you have Epilepsy, the form(s) of your seizures and what your triggers are and that you 2 discuss it ahead of the gathering. Stress is a very common trigger and depending upon whether this is your first meeting with his parents in addition to other members of the family, this can be a major spike in your stress level because this is a gathering not in a neutral location. Keep this in mind too, but the key is the conversation between the 2 of you now in advance of Thanksgiving.
And, especially if you have full seizures and the form of your complex partial seizures, then you really need to consider children present (especially) but it seizures can be scary for adults to witness too. NOTE: When I was out of control with the seizures during that mess in 2003, I had co-workers who would "curl up in a ball" in reaction and they and later my father would become traumatized such that they were "walking on egg shells" around me for fear of triggering another seizure. And, in my father's case, ever time that he hears something of significant weight (in his case this can be a hard covered book or an large stapler), he is worried that I just had another full seizure.
Once again, the key is to have that conversation with your boyfriend and get his input on whether he feels that it is necessary to tell anyone at this time. The decision is yours in the end, but your boyfriend is someone who has most likely witnessed a variety of your seizures, thus can provide a view from outside of your body -- especially significant if you have complex partial an entire full seizures that are absence seizures.
I'm with Randy .Just tell his immediate family the type of seizures you have &how you'd like to be helped This should help them with first aid if you need it .If you have other types of seizures eg focal onset partial seizures when your awareness is impaired ,maybe you can't communicate, this may help them realise just how many different types of seizures there are .My mother in law thought I was being rude once I couldn't communicate due to having clusters of
partial seizures . I've asked my husband to tell people when I am 'spaced out'but he often forgets.It might be good if your boyfriend can explain what happens so they can understand Good luck with everything x
The best way to approach to take is, when you and boyfriend can meet up with just his family ( Mom, Dad and Siblings j . No relatives yet. Make a strategy plan on how and you 2 can meet and talk about your condition. It is better letting them know sooner than later. If they were to see you seizure or have some type episode , they are are going to freak out, worry, and scare them. The 2 of you need to prepare them and help them know what to expect. It’s also a good idea to them understand. Give them a basic understanding to your epilepsy. Make that your boyfriend help someone. I’m guessing he knows your what your seizures are like. He help them know what expect with your seizures.hopefully it will go smoothly during this meet. Once they know about your Epilepsy, you can take the next step. His family and him can then spread the news to the relatives next.
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